What if our constant drive to act on every capability is what’s making us unwell?

What if the real healing lies in rethinking how we turn our “can” into reality - or not?

What if, in addition to questioning what we force ourselves to do (that we often don’t want to in the first place), we also questioned the things that we can and habitually do?

Hear me out—here are a few of my own examples:

• I can work a full-time job (and then some). I just don’t want to - it’s not aligned with my values.

• I can stick to strict schedules and lifestyle practices, but I really shouldn’t - it kills my spirit and contracts my energy.

• I can balance social and personal time, but I’ve chosen not to anymore - I thrive with much more personal time.

• I can take on heavy workloads and deadlines, but I’ve decided not to - it’s dangerous to tie my sense of worth to productivity.

So often, we confuse ability with alignment.

Just because we can doesn’t mean it’s good for us to actually do. Sometimes the very things we’re most capable of are the ones that drain our health, contract our energy, or pull us away from what truly matters.

What would shift if you paused before acting on your capabilities?

If you asked not only “Can I?” but also “Does this support my well-being? Does this reflect my values?”

That distinction, between what’s possible and what’s nourishing, can be a powerful act of self-trust.

My hope is that this reflection invites you to notice where you’re still equating capacity with choiceless obligation, and to gently choose otherwise.

Because life isn’t about proving what we can manage.

It’s about cultivating what allows us to thrive.

This reflection is by Emilie Berger, practitioner at Portland Healing Space. For more insights and inspiration, subscribe to Emilie Berger’s newsletter